As if yesterday didn't suck enough,today was even worse. Michael woke up screaming at 12 this morning, gave him a dose of tylenol, took his temp which was 99.4 *F. He slept til 3:45 and was screaming again, this time his temp was 99.2 . He acted like he was in terrible pain so I held him for a while until he kept blinking really long and yawning a lot. John came home from work at 6:00am and held him for a bit,but he just kept crying, so I fed them early. Michael wasn't eating like he usually does, so I took his temp again and it was 102.3 ....called the doctor who said to take his temp again rectally...103.7 !!! I was instructed to give him a tepid bath, take his temp again, and call right after....103.3 . John agreed to watch Matthew while I took Michael in to the doctors office...I hated leaving Matthew with him, he really needed to get some sleep, but I was really worried about Michael, so I loaded him into the car and headed out. Well, I didn't get very far because John parked closer than usual in the driveway and as I was backing out of the garage, trying to avoid his truck, I hit the passenger side fender area with the garage door!! I was furious, he was ticked with me, I was trying to hurry to the doctors office, it sucked. So, after John moved his truck so I could leave, I was finally on my way. His temp when we got there was 100.5...a little lower than it had been cuz I gave him another dose of tylenol before leaving. I could see the nurses were *pleased* to see me again so soon....one of them said.."you brought him in just cuz he has a fever, don't you know they sometimes get a fever after immunizations...didn't you read the pamphlet?"
"No bitch, I was too busy tending to my crying baby, would you like to read it to me?" Ok, I didn't say that, but I should have.
Well, long story kinda short-er, The doc said his high temps weren't typical of a reaction to the immunizations....although not unheard of, about 1% of infants have high fevers afterwards. So, she had a nurse put a catheter in his penis for a urine sample, then sent us to a lab down the hall so he could have his blood drawn...both which were sent in for cultures. Then we went back to the drs office for an antibiotic shot...another one will be given tomorrow morning.. Pending the lab results, he will get more antibiotics....poor guy. She thinks he might have a UTI...funny, Im being treated for one now too..hmmm....
When I get home John is still awake (didn't go to sleep til after 1pm, woke up at 4!!) I hate that he didn't get much sleep and had to turn right back around and go to work exhausted. Tomorrow Ill take both boys with me to the drs office so he can rest a little. As of now, BOTH boys temps are around 99-100...I'm giving them tylenol every 4 hrs... I really hope Michael feels better and sleeps the whole night.

Beautiful double-chin Matthew

Today was their 4 month appointment, lets just say it was the worst one yet. From the moment the nurse undressed the boys and took their measurments, it was on. They both cried and cried and cried, Matthew especially...not even being held by me helped....all this was BEFORE the shots too!! One of the doctors there, a nurse, and a mother of a patient, all came by the room we were waiting in to give 'helpful' suggestions on how to get them to stop crying. I was so ready to leave that I didn't even ask all the questions I thoughtfully wrote on a post-it note beforehand...I pretty much just prioritized them and asked the first 3-4. Before the doctor left she suggested I have more people handle the boys because they have stranger anxiety. As I was buckling them into their snugrides, a nurse asked in a demanding sort of way, "aren't you going to change their diapers before the car ride home, a wet diaper isn't going to help with all the crying......"

My reply..... "nope"

Thank the sweet lord they are both sleeping now. Oh, and their numbers:

Michael - weight: 14.96 lbs, length - 26 in, head cir. - 16.5 in

Matthew - weight - 14.96 lbs, length - 25 3/4 in, head cir. - 15 3/4 in

My little chunkie monkies,fat-fat boys.

Who wants onion sauce??!! I bought a package of vine-ripened tomatoes from the store that was reduced to 2 bucks for about 20. They were VERY ripe, so needed to be used soon. My sis suggested homemade salsa or sauce. I looked up recipes on the net and came up with one that looked ok.....2.5 C cut-up seeded tomatoes,1 onion,few garlic cloves,basil,oregano,salt,sugar,pepper. Sounds pretty good, eh? Well....after I blended the cooked mess all together it tasted like pure onions!!! It was nasty. I hate when that shit happens. Had to throw all that labor down the drain. Note to self: next time only use 1/2-1/4 onion, and not a huge one at that. I feel so discouraged about cooking now.

A few days ago Matthew surprised us by rolling over from his belly to back. After feeding the boys, John and I placed them on their bellies for some "tummy time" on the bed. Matthew slowly tipped his head to one side, and let his body follow, then used his legs to complete the move. It was pretty amazing, but I wanted to see it again, so back on his stomach he went. And again, he rolled over,but this time he rolled the other way. Michael,however,didn't seem all that interested in anything other than the tv during this time. When on his belly, he doesn't even really lift up all that high, just turns his head to one side and watches the tv. We've since learned that during feeding time, Michael needs to be faced away from the tv, because when its on, he is much too distracted to eat!

Matthew and Michaels cousins came to visit today




Michaels doctor appointment wasn't as useless as I thought it was going to be. The nurse
practitioner that met with us gave me some information on how to teach him to reach other milestones. She said he's right on track pretty much...although he is a little heavy for his length. I feed him between 6-7 oz per feeding...4-5oz is the average for his age! The morning of his appointment he even reached another milestone by blowing his first raspberry! He hasn't done it since, so it might have just been a fluke. The appointment was only for Michael since he was in the NICU after his birth, but she looked Matthew over and said he looks good as well.

The boys are 4 months today!

Tomorrow Michael has a follow-up doctors appointment with the surgeon that performed his gastroscesis surgery the day he was born...the appointment is at 11 and their office is about an hour away. I have to pick up DF at the airport in the same city at 2. Now you tell me what the crap am I going to do for 3 hours?? Im sure the appointment will go something like this:

Arrive 15-30 minutes early and wait around looking stupid.

One or both babies start acting fussy/crying

Around 11:30-12 finally see the doctor

He asks how Michael is eating/pooping

Looks at his incision site and....

Proclaims he's a healthy baby

The end..

What a waste...I wish I didn't have to take him, I still dont think this doctor will tell me anything that their pediatrician hasn't already. Oh well. So, after I leave the appointment around 12- 12:30, what am I going to do with myself until its time to pick up babies daddy at the airport? At least I have a dvd player in my car, I can sit in the back while I feed the boys and watch a movie I guess.

This will be the first time I'm alone with the twins...DF had a court case in Virginia he had to attend. Its not having to take care of them by myself that sucks, Im used to doing that for the most part...its sleeping alone I hate. Ever since I was a little girl...I've hated sleeping in a room/bed by myself. Maybe its because my parents didn't do the best job censoring the kind of horror movies I would watch (Freddy Kruger,Exorcist,Hellraiser,etc.)....Maybe its from reading the news too much or being in law enforcement and seeing what actual living-breathing-humans can do to each other...I dunno, I just dont sleep well alone. So, I will have my night light a-blaze and my 9mm inches away...

17 weeks, 3 days from their 4 month 'birthday'!!!!

The boys slept from 8pm last night to 7:30 this morning!! Yeah!!! So, yesterday I finally ordered their birth certificates from the internet...44 bucks for the both of them! We got their social security cards in the mail about a month ago..I just assumed that the birth certificates would be coming as well. Nope. You've got to pay for them babies. I needed to get them because some day care providers want a copy of them...plus I'm trying to get some of these formula companies to send me free cases of formula, an offer they provide for twins, but they want the birth certificates to verify you aren't lying.

I called 4 day care centers, left messages...have 4 month old twin boys...need day care two days a week...blah blah.....not one of the 4 companies has called me back yet. I guess the twin thing scared them?

Even though my father passed two years ago, its still such a raw wound. I think it will always feel this way, time only heals some things, death isn't one of them. Sometimes I forget he is gone as I pick up my phone to call him. I have very vivid dreams where he is alive/yet I always know he really is dead....I remember the day after I got the call from my sister telling me he was gone, I woke up with that terrible feeling that the day before was no dream, and the pain came surging back stronger than ever. The reason I'm writing about this now, is I got an unexpected,yet very welcomed email from my Aunt Valorie asking if I would be interested in some old journal entries from my grandma about my father. She transfered them onto a word document and I got to read my fathers life in black and white. 6/16/46...he got scarlet fever and almost died, spent 10 days in the hospital.....7/17/58...went to basic training with the Navy...11/13/65..married my mother...2/07/70..finished his thesis and moved to Seattle,Washington with my mother and brother.
I dont think closure is possible when someone is taken from you too soon, you just get better at dealing with the pain.

Twenty perfect toes

Michael woke up last night between 4-5 times....I didn't feed him when he woke up, just replaced the pacifier in his mouth and prayed he'd sleep the rest of the night. If he wasn't so cute he'd be out of here. He's so talkative and engaging during the day...much more that Matthew. He'll have a 'conversation' with you for 30-45 minutes at a time, as well as he now knows how to laugh, its just adorable.
We washed the crib sheets and mattress pads today...I swear it takes longer to replace all the bedding than it does to wash and dry the stuff. Is there an easier way to put clean sheets/mattress pads back on the mattress without taking the bumper pads off? When I dont take the bumper pads off...its a tug-of-war stuffing the mattress down while keeping the sheet+mattress pad on, I hate it.

Happy Birthday John!!! I love you with all my heart, thank you for my boys!

I almost forgot...check this out, its FUNNY!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/155616/babies_and_fathers/

This is buggy, her tongue is always out....


So...this morning after the boys a.m. bottle, I clipped their tiny fingernails. I saved both sets of clippings in plastic sandwich baggies labeled with their names and todays date. I plan on somehow/someday using these in their baby books...is this weird, I mean, people use locks of baby hair in their baby books so I dont see this as much different. I wanted to save the shrivelled up stumps of their umbilical cords....but my fiance said that was nasty...its not like I was going to season a stew with them...or use them for voodoo purposes...oh well

The best dinner ever!!!.....well, not really

Since the love of my life is working late tonight....I fixed myself a nourishing yet savory dinner consisting of:

1) Multiple large handfuls of cheddar cheese goldfish crackers
2) A few doritos (nacho flavor)
3) Two purple (grape) popsicles
4) When they come out of the oven, a great big slab of triple-chocolate brownies

So...what do you think?? Dont even start to say you dont occasionally eat this shitty.

Last night was STTN for both boys, yippy!

Michael lifting up and looking at something


Well, I am proud to say Matthew slept through the night..yaaaayyy!!!!! From now on in all subsequent blogs, it will be known at STTN or NSTTN... I feel like I need to get a lot accomplished today since I got to sleep so well. There is just something about a peaceful nights sleep that is not fully appreciated until you have kids. I used to not be happy with only 6-7 hours of sleep before kids (BK)...now its a precious gift.
Things I want to accomplish today: (not in any specific order)

1) clean the cat box....I keep passing it on my way to the bedroom and the tootsie rolls in there are starting to gag me
2) clean the bedroom and organize the loose papers
3) wash the boys, they smell like sour milk
4) pick up the dead beetle carcass in the kitchen...it scares me

Daddy giving baby Matthew a kiss

He looks so cute here...last night was anything but. I made the mistake of "trying" rice cereal in his bottle again to see if he'd sleep longer. Well, after he drank the bottle, I could tell it was going to be an all-nighter. He was fussy right away, crying whenever he was put down, crying when the binky fell out of his mouth, just inconsolable. I took him to bed with me where he kicked and made noises all night long. I guess he wasn't feeling all that great either. So, tonight we shall try again, but minus the evil rice cereal. Why do some babies do so well on it, like my future SIL's kids? I guess you cant have everything in life, I should just be happy they are healthy and dont look like little monkeys.

A blurry picture of my freakishly long nails

So, last nights sleep was broken multiple times because of Matthew waking up crying. I dont get it. Two nights in a row he sleeps great, then last night....ah well. Kids suck sometimes.
I gave the boys a bath after their 11am feeding. I have this little bath recliner thingy that I wash them in one at a time. Matthew was first because he started crying..again....so, I take off his onesie, and set him in the chair in his diaper. I get the water to the right temperature and remove his diaper only to discover a particularly NASTY display of poop. It was gross, yellowish-brownish, the consistency of cake batter, and very smelly. Well it got everywhere in the mesh shower seat and I had to 'scrub' at it so it would dissolve through the material.
Michael had his bath after that in said shower recliner...sucks to be the second twin sometimes.

This is a picture of baby Matthew down for his afternoon nap today. Yes, I know, he's on his stomach and thats against everything the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests...but he sleeps the best this way and Im constantly checking on him. BTW:Nighttime he is a back sleeper. So last night was another night of blissful sleep, the boys didn't wake at all. I feel kind of scared actually, like if I brag too much about it, they will go back to waking up every 2-3 hours at night. Like these past two nights were just a fluke...I hope not because I haven't felt this well rested in a loooong time..

They do seem to be spitting up a lot more lately though...Michael especially. Their four month appointment is just around the corner, so I'll talk with Dr.Smith about it. Michael is on medicine for reflux..zantac and some orange colored stuff that stains everything it comes in contact with.. Matthew might need to 1)either be put on Michaels medicine or 2) they both might get on different medicine since the stuff Michael is on isn't working as well as it used to. More to follow, stay tuned

Last night was wonderful...Matthew and Michael finally both slept through the night. I was sure that yesterdays activities would have thrown off the schedule I have them on, and neither one would have slept well. We visited some family/friends in a lake-front community about an hour away for some relaxing time away from the city and some hand-cranked ice cream. We fed them before we left the lake house at 9pm, and we got home at 10. The long car ride put them both to sleep and we were able to get them in their cribs without waking them up. After 3 months 2 weeks and 2 days of broken sleep, last night was truly amazing...Although it seemed too good to be true because my sleep deprived body still was waking up every 2-3 hours to look at the clock in amazement that the twins were still sleeping soundly. Is this a new pattern? Have they finally reached that golden age where night is recognized by their immature systems from day? Only time will tell....but I have to give credit to the book On Becoming Babywise....putting the boys on a fairly strict schedule made all the difference.